Centering Our Home on Jesus

“Enjoy your daughter, enjoy the time you have together.” That was the doctor’s response when Tiffani asked how we should proceed after receiving news that the cancer may have returned—“Enjoy the time you have together.”

What do you do with that? How do you respond to that kind of news? Well, from my experience, you start by crying—a lot. Through the tears, prayer seemed to follow. I was at church when I received that call. After talking through it with my wife and gathering as much information as possible, I paced through our sanctuary. I think I would call what I did prayer, but to anyone who might have heard, I would have sounded like a skipping record: “Really, God? Really? Why?” Over and over, I assured Him, “This does not make sense to me.” In my uttering, I asked, “Why would you have us bring home Sophie just to bury her? Why would you want her sisters to experience that?”

As I continued to pace and audibly repeat my questions to God, at some point, I felt like I gained an answer. Through tears, anger, sadness, and ultimately, silence, I received something from God. It wasn’t so much an answer as it was a response. It was the response I needed at the time. After a moment, I looked to the Heavens and said, “Well, if she’s going to meet Jesus, maybe it’s our job to introduce her to Him first.” 

As Tiffani and I continued to pray for healing, we acknowledged our role in introducing Sophie to Jesus, all the while pleading to God that he would let her outlive us.

The following week, we scheduled a biopsy where they removed two more lymph nodes, testing them to determine if the cancer had returned or if the MRI results were simply irregular. In the ensuing weeks, as we waited for her biopsy and impending results, we valued our time together—as a family. We understood some things seemed to matter more than others in life—we certainly did not sweat the small things.

We took a lot of pictures.

We played a lot.

We prayed a lot.

We focused on Jesus. 

We found ourselves back in the doctor’s office. The same office where, only a couple weeks prior, Tiffani had heard the dreadful news from a concerned doctor that her cancer was back and believed it may have also crossed from the right half of her body to the left. There we were, watching as the doctor returned with results from the lymph nodes biopsy.

As he sat down, he shook his head in disbelief. “The lymph nodes are cancer-free. I don’t get it. I don’t understand, but she does not have cancer. We will continue to monitor her closely and follow up with an MRI every three months going forward.”

I didn’t care what we were doing going forward. All I heard was “Cancer-free!” More tears were shed. Those tears tasted different. Joy sure is sweet.

I never again want to experience having a doctor inform us that one of our daughters may have cancer. Still, I am grateful for the process God walked with us. I often go back to my conversation with Him as I paced through the sanctuary. The words I uttered are still clear in my head. “Well, if Sophie’s going to meet Jesus, maybe it’s our job to introduce her to Him first.”  Our kids will meet Jesus. That will happen. Our job is to introduce our kids to Him before they meet Him. Yet, I don’t want to stop at introducing Him to them. My hope is that they lovingly run into His arms because they know Him and love Him. We start that process by bringing Jesus into our homes. It’s what Jairus did. Jairus knew Jesus was the only one who could save his daughter, so he did everything he could to introduce Him to her. 

What are we willing to do to bring Jesus into our homes? What is our goal as parents? As I reflect on the weeks between that dreaded MRI and the results from the biopsy, I realize how easy it is to settle into a life where Jesus is an afterthought. During that short, painful season, we were hyper-focused on being purposeful parents, intentionally bringing Jesus into our home to resume His place as the center of our family. Now that it’s been a few years, I find myself needing to remember those days. I desire to reflect on them regularly in order to grasp the purpose I want to live out as a parent. To give them over to what God has planned for their lives and usher them toward it.

How about you? What is your purpose? 1

My purpose became much clearer during those heart-wrenching days. It is invaluable to start with the end in mind. We can ask ourselves: what is my goal? What is my desired outcome with my kids? When we are clear about our goal, we have the opportunity to build toward it. Without a target in mind, hitting it becomes incredibly challenging. Let’s identify our target. Let’s be intentional about our purpose and pursue our goal. It’s not easy, but it is undoubtedly worth it.

Our kids are worth every effort.

1 This section was taken from a recently published book by Brian Schley, Plethos Coach, titled, “Centering Our Home On Jesus: Seven Principles for Parenting from Jairus’ Faith in Jesus” and is available online at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.